Dao Vu answers your most interesting, intimate and out-there questions about love, life and everything in between
I recently reconnected via Facebook with an old friend I hadn’t seen in over twenty years. He mentioned having been hurt badly due to his divorce, but said he was over her and made every effort to form a relationship with me. We started dating and things were progressing rather quickly, however, he always introduced me as his “friend.” During a conversation, I asked him what he thought we were in terms of a relationship. Then suddenly he backed off completely. I can’t make sense of it. His only explanation was that I pressured him. Do you think he really felt pressured or it this just an excuse to break it off?
From Tina J.
Dear Tina,When your Facebook friend, whom you knew from more than 20 years ago, says he felt pressured, you should believe him. While you may not have felt you were pressuring him, you do not know his true emotional state. Did you call him a lot or did he always call you? Who knows, calling him once a day may have been too much for him. Maybe he enjoyed the thrill of the pursuit and when you started to express feelings, it made him realize it was going in a direction he didn’t want to go. You just don’t know because he broke it off before you had a chance to discuss it. It sounds like you were still in the “get to know you again, let’s have fun together stage” and that may be all he really wanted even though he indicated otherwise. Even if it was just an excuse to end your relationship, consider yourself lucky. Better to find out now than a week before Valentine’s Day!
I’ve been seeing someone for a few months that I am really happy with. He has great qualities as a human being and we get along great. Our only disagreement seems to be on political issues. He’s very conservative and I’m quite liberal. Do I put aside my views in order to preserve this relationship or do I stay true to myself and stop seeing him? Help.
Dear Claudia,As I’m sure you’ve discovered, all relationships are about compromise. Ask yourself, has it been hard for him to go through the same thing you have, to find a wonderful person with great qualities and then discover there’s one thing you two can’t seem to agree on? You have to decide if a differing political view is enough to end your relationship. As long as the disagreements don’t become hurtful or vindictive and are just healthy differences of opinion, I think its fine. He could be the Yin to your Yang. Sure, it’s easier to date a liberal when you’re a liberal but then there are plenty of couples that have different religious beliefs and stay together because they don’t allow it to get in the way of happiness.
Dao Vu is the host of “The Morning Blend” on Channel 13 KTNV. You can catch her weekday mornings from 9 to 10 a.m. A woman of many talents; she writes, produces, helps book guests and sometimes even makes the coffee! She’s interviewed hundreds of celebrities at “The Blend,” including headliners such as Holly Madison, Donny