By Meghan Bailey
Something interesting happens when you start living on autopilot. Your thoughts and actions become so repetitive and homogenous that you begin to subconsciously build walls around your soul. You close off the possibility of anything new; you stop living life to the fullest. There’s no longer the chance of meeting new friends, experiencing new activities, traveling to new locations and allowing new dreams to blossom. You stop remembering the things in your past that brought you joy because you are too busy just getting by.
My husband recently shared with me some feedback he had received about my first “Bored of Me Project” article. It is always interesting to hear how people perceive your words versus how you wanted them to be received. During our conversation, he stopped me and put his hand on mine, looked in my eyes and said, “No matter what people say, I can tell you, you have life back in those eyes now.”
No matter what people say, I can tell you, you have life back in those eyes now.
I hadn’t reflected too much on the project because I was truly letting things happen organically. A couple of weeks after my husband told me about the new-found life in my eyes, the first epiphany of this project hit me out of nowhere. Well, not nowhere, but during the 4th inning of a kickball game we put together with friends. I would never have thought about putting together a kickball game because that’s the kind of thing we did in high school or college. There wasn’t a place for it in adult life, right? Wrong. When I decided to take my life off autopilot back in January and let this year happen spontaneously, we met some new friends. When we were together, we all thought it would be fun to play kickball. I inserted new friends with old friends, something I typically plan around people’s personalities and how they would match up, but not this time. We loved them all and wanted to share life with them. I stopped worrying about plotting out the whole activity and lived it. Guess what? It worked out!
Since then, I have realized that these vast goals I made for myself during this project were hitting me in the face daily. By spending my days being “busy” and feeling like that was an accomplishment, a badge of honor, a reason for existence, I lost what mattered: spontaneity and being present. Sitting back and letting things happen as they will, all while being present in everything I am doing has allowed me a newfound passion for life, to give in to what I love more easily and to find that life now is just fuller.
This project has helped me re-evaluate everything I’m doing and to find the purpose of it, even if that purpose is simply being happy. Being busy has given the appearance that I am doing all the right things, but anyone who inspected my life a little closer would see that I was holding myself back from taking hard actions to reach the dreams I had. This is all a work in progress but learning to let life happen with a little more spontaneity and less stress about making sure everything is perfect, I have more time to activate my potential and achieve goals I had previously been neglecting. As this journey continues, I can’t even start to explain the excitement each new day is bringing.Follow along with Meghan Bailey and her Bored of Me Project at LifecycleDiaries.com and read in Las Vegas Woman magazine. Follow her on Instagram @MeghanBaylee.